


Cocoa Won't Hurt Anyone, Right?

by Kuro_iplrrr



Category: Smosh, Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: M/M, Star Trek AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2013-11-05
Packaged: 2017-12-31 14:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuro_iplrrr/pseuds/Kuro_iplrrr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Smosh Trek AU<br/>(Ianthony towards the end)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cocoa Won't Hurt Anyone, Right?

**Author's Note:**

> But wait! Who’s who in this AU?
> 
> Anthony as Spock, First, Science, and Commanding Officer;   
> Ian Hecox as James Kirk, Captain and Chief of Starfleet Operations;  
> David Moss as Leonard McCoy, Chief Medical and Science Officer;  
> Mari Takahashi as Hikaru Sulu, Chief Helmsman and Staff Physicist;   
> Joshua Ovenshire as Pavel Checkov. Navigator and Security/Tactics Officer; and   
> Matt Sohinki as Montgomery Scott, Chief Engineer and Security Officer.

**_Cocoa Won’t Hurt Anyone, Right? (SMOSH Trek AU)  
_ **

****

“Captain,” Commander Anthony walks up to the Captain’s chair with a padd in his arms. “I have calculated our distance and time of arrival to Earth.”

Ian Hecox of the NCC 7674 grins back at his first officer. “Ah, thank you, Anthony.” He received the padd from the other’s hands. “But we won’t need your calculations to Earth at the moment.”

Anthony raises an arched eyebrow. “Captain, I do believe that we are on course for Earth at this specific period of time,” If Ian had assumed right, there was even confusion on the Vulcan’s face.

“Unless I was failed to be notified by the sudden change of our routes of travel,” continues the Science officer.

A grin slowly appears on Ian’s face. “I can tell you now that we have just changed our routes and are now headed for Vulcan.”

Ian couldn’t even deny that there was a flash of surprise on Anthony’s face.

“Captain, I find it highly illogical to travel to Vulcan at this moment, since this crew is approximately three-point-nine days away from their annual dismissal.” Anthony says, his voice monotone. “As to the reason you have decided to travel to Vulcan, I cannot interpret.”

Ian just grins at Anthony. “You will see, Commander.” He leans back in his chair. “It’ll go right into that Vulcan brain of yours.”

Anthony quietly leaves for his station and Mari, the chief helmswoman, whispers right in the captain’s ear.

“You do know that Anthony may notice that you’re bringing him to Vulcan as his birthday present, right?”

“Oh,” Ian grins. “He’ll find out sooner or later.”

They both look back to the Vulcan working in his station, silently talking with the Communications officer, Kalel.

“He just doesn’t want to find it out yet.”

* * * * *

David Moss was trying to keep his files in order after the loud crash, when he heard the door of the infirmary room open. He groaned in response. “What is it no-“ But he was cut short when he caught sight of his Science officer marching in with a hand wrapped around his left shoulder and green blood dripping everywhere.

“Jesus Christ man,” David drops what he is holding and runs toward the other man. “What the hell happened here?”

Anthony’s voice was calm as he replied. “Doctor, regardless of the wound I have on my left forearm, I am perfectly functioning and able.”

David almost turned as green as Anthony’s blood when he caught the sight of the open gaping wound.

“Bloody hell man, that doesn’t look like nothing.” David shakes his head as he looks around to find a shot for Anthony.

The door suddenly bursts open and he is met with the wide eyes of Ian Hecox, who was panting heavily, but his face relaxed immediately as he saw Anthony in the room.

David crosses his eyes at the Captain, exclaiming madly, “What in the name of Kronos is goin’ on out there?”

Ian shrugs and says, “Bunch of dicks riled up against our ship.”

“And I’m guessing they’re from Starfleet?” David walks up to Anthony and tells him, “Yeah, Look, Anthony, this is goin’ to sting a bit okay? It has a hint of cocoa in it.” And with that warning, he punctured the Vulcan’s skin with the needle.

Anthony kept his stature calm as he faced the other man in the room. “I am assuming that the enemy ship has been defeated?”

Ian grins back at him. “Yeah, that machine sure did the job.”

“2 days before I get back to Earth though…” David mutters sadly.

“Sorry ‘bout that, Lasercorn.”

\---

Sohinki was the man to blame during the moment, so Ian went down to Sohinki’s area, trying to look for the other man.

When he reached the lower part of the ship, he groaned when he saw Sohinki shaking his head at one of the other officers.

“Commander Sohinki, I would like to ask you about the malfunctioning of this ship?”

Sohinki turns to him in a quick motion and almost looks like he’s having a seizure.

“Captain,” Sohinki grunts. “I will tell you that the fault is not here in the engineering department. You better consult Ovenshire.”

\---

“What the was that all about, Commander Joven?” Ian sighs. He’s a bit cross at their Security Officer for letting the betraying officers near their ship. “Did you have all the shields on?”

Joven pushed his glasses up his nose and sighed. “Ian, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do I panicked and-“

“Hey look, look,” Ian shook his head wildly, stepping in front of the other man. “Joven, it’s okay. Everyone on the ship is fine. We defeated the enemy ship, there’s nothing better you could’ve done.”

Joven smiles smugly and changes the subject before he’d be accused of anything else. “You do know that Commander Anthony knows exactly what you’re trying to do, right?”

“Of course I know that,” Ian turns to leave, when Mari, their chief helmswoman, and Sohinki enter the room.

Mari’s able to say, “Hey Captain, I’m guessing you’re goin’ to want to see this…”

Sohinki leads Ian out of the Bridge to one of the rooms they got in the Starship. Ian could feel a sense of déjà vu. _I’ve been here before, haven’t I?_

He looks at the pad beside the door as Mari punches in the code.

“See you later, Ian!” Mari and Sohinki say as they push Ian inside the room.

Ian was honestly a bit shocked when he came to a stop inside Anthony’s room.

Ian could hear muttering. Muttering that sounded so familiar.

“Hey Anthony,” Ian greets the other man. “What’s got you so worked up?”

There is only silence in reply.

“Anthony, were you reciting the Periodic Table?”

Anthony’s head poked out of the covers. “Captain, I do believe that I was reciting the Table of Elements.” His face was stained light green and Ian couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight.

“That’s adorable, man. But you’ve got to wake up, our staff is going on another warp and we may need you to help.” Ian knew it was a lie, since their crew had already taken them to warp a few days ago.

“Captain-“

“Ian.” Ian corrects the man.

“Ian, I am positive that we have gone to warp 2.8 days ago and I do not see any kind of reasoning for the crew to go into warp again.”

Ian couldn’t help it, he went to sit on the other man’s bed and decided to press a quick peck on Anthony’s green cheek. When he pulls back, he sees Anthony flushing dark emerald.

“Get some rest, Commander.”

And with those words said, Ian walked up to the doorway, pressing the first number on the padd.

“Ian, I assume you know that Vulcans don’t have celebrations during their date of birth, do you not?”

Ian doesn’t answer, but instead types out the rest of the code and goes back up to the Bridge.

FIN :)


End file.
